One of the reasons I love tumblr, it makes me feel like I am not the only one going through this heartbreak. Everything is so fucking relatable I feel like hugging the owner of the post and just say " I feel your pain, Im dealing with it too " 

So these past few weeks have been really hard for me. I've been in a state whereby I was at my lowest. I felt shitty about myself, I felt sad, depressed but not suicidal lah lol. I mean I dont know how someone can actually be so heartless for loving 2 people at once . And when they've made their decision they actually have the heart to push one away like their feelings dont matter at all. Right now, I am in a state in which i feel so bloody stupid for trusting a guy like him. Turns out this "fling" he's been having was happening since my egypt trip which was like 2 months ago. The only thing that's been going through my mind is the fact that during the whole time things happened between us, I should've known better there was a third party. I mean what other reason should he have 2 phones right ? So he doesnt get mixed up. I feel so stupid ! Everything that happened was all lies lies and lies ! Bazir masa lah sial, I fucking wasted 2 months of my life which I will never get back on a heartless douchebag who push people away because their feelings dont matter at all ! Such an asshole, and he didnt even wanna try and confront me and settle things instead he became the little girl he is and put down the phone as I was about to settle things Ohh such a man you are ey ? dah tahu salah, dah tahu kantoi takut pulak nak settle things, kata sador ? And the only thing you can say was sorry ? As if sorry can make up for all the time I've wasted on you. as if your worthless sorry's can make up for everything that happened when I was in egypt. No wonder you could not answer my question when I asked you who am I to you . I should have known you had another girl. God I am so fucking stupid to have been falling for a worthless, useless retard like you ! I cant believe he used the whole 'results you lagi bagus so nanti you pergi overseas' as an alasan to end things. God, you really think I am that fucking stupid ? I am not a moron okay, I knew something was up and it wasnt long till your GIRLFRIEND followed me :-) 

Let me tell you this, what YOU did really left a deep scar on my heart, I fucking fell for you and you pushed me away after giving me hopes how fucking HEARTLESS can you get ? You are officially the biggest regret of my entire fucking life.

But there's nothing I can do, except to accept what's happened and move on. I admit I am still feeling shitty about myself but I have friends who have been supportive throughout this whole time. All of them gave me the same advise " You deserve better, there are many others ' "Chin up Po, we're here for you " " Kau sakitkan diri kau untuk orang yang tak berguna macam tu ? " " You have an even brighter future, he doesnt deserve to be with you " My friends have been so so supportive and they're the reasons I'm getting better and better each day.

Today, I woke up feeling slightly better. It took me quite awhile to realize that, I do deserve better. And things will get better eventually, Allah is ready to help me just like how he helped me to open my eyes to see that everything that happened between us was a lie. I will get better, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. And by then, karma will bite your sorry ass and you will get the punishment that you deserve because Allah is great. You just wait, and when that happens, I'll be the first one laughing.

Thank you A, you are definitely an amazing guy. Really :')